Today marks the 100 day countdown until my wedding, and I am facing a lot of mixed emotions.
My fiancée is an amazing person. He has a wonderful sense of humor (constantly making me laugh), a huge heart, and is one of the most generous people I know. I would do anything for him, and am so honored that he would want to actually spend the rest of his life with me. Planning this wedding has been a roller coaster, though, having a lot of ups and downs. It has also been one of the loneliest times in my life.
When I was younger, I never really pictured myself walking down the aisle. However, when proposed to, I realized it was time to create that vision and start putting the wedding planning in gear. I pictured having a supportive group of girlfriends, people being happy for me, and both families being supportive of the future ceremony. It hasn’t been quite like that, though.
I feel like I haven’t had much support from very many people, and I am always having to hold the hand of a couple of people who are constant emotional wrecks. Yet, no one ever seems to think about asking me how I’m doing. The bride. Yes, I do understand that everyone has their own lives, and that my fiancée and I are the only ones who are the most excited about our wedding day, but I am astonished at how self-centered some people have been in this process. This is just one day out of our lives that it will be about the two of us, yet so far, it has been about everyone else.
I am not quite sure where I am going with this specific blog. It isn’t to vent, or to be a sob fest. I am just very confused, and didn’t realize that by getting married, it would cause such chaos for other people. I also didn’t realize that it would force me, without decision, to re-evaluate several of my friendships. Who would have thought that such a blessed union could create such havoc. Heaven forbid there be a day about someone else besides you.