Relationships are like a rose bush, and there are several parts to it. You have the roots, the body, the thorns, and the flowers. There are different seasons for a rose bush, and sometimes there are no flowers, only thorns. Other times, the plant is dormant and has nothing but a stump. During difficult times, you have to remember that that rose bush is alive and still has roots, even if it doesn’t seem like it. If you keep watering the rose bush at those flowerless and dormant times, you will reap a tremendous reward, which will be a plant full of completely beautiful and fragrant roses.
Rest.In.Peace. July 26, 2011
We lost a family pet this past weekend, and all of us are feeling it. Mick was one of two cats we picked from a litter when I was in eighth grade. She was 17 years old, and was put down Saturday, July 23, 2011.
I remember the day I first met Mick vividly. I had just come home from my middle school Washington D.C. trip, which was semi-traumatic for an eighth grader, because my boyfriend broke up with me and started going out with my friend the next day while we were on the trip. When I walked into the entry way of our house and put my bag down, this tiny little orange fluff ball stuck its head out from under the couch and then trotted towards me. This was not Mick, but her sister, Milo. After Milo introduced herself, the rest of the litter came out from behind the couch, including this very tiny little orange fluff ball that was smaller than the rest and had an extremely raspy meow. This was the “runt” of the litter, who we ended up naming Mick.
Milo ended up being my cat, and Mick ended up belonging to my mom’s boyfriend. They were both mine, though. I loved them equal amounts and considered them both my cats, just like every other animal we owned at the time, or had ever owned before or after. Little did I know, these cats would live over half of my lifetime and would become a very important part of our family. They have seen many birthdays, graduations, weddings, Christmas Eve dinners, babies, and wedding showers. The most recent celebration was my own wedding shower, which was Mick’s last. I had a gut feeling that it would be her final celebration, so I had my mom take a picture of us together. Two weeks later, it was her time to go.
Although both cats have always been lovable, social, and friendly, I am pretty sure I can say that Mick was the most lovable cat we’ve ever had in our family. She was very empathetic, and knew when one of our family members was sad, sick, or upset about something. Anytime someone would enter the house, she would greet them with her raspy meow. She loved snuggling. Any chance she was given, she would love to be carried or sit on anyone’s lap by anyone who would let her. She was the sweetest cat I’ve ever known.
My final goodbye to Mick was difficult. My mom’s boyfriend accidentally locked himself out of the house, so I drove over to let him in with my key. He let me know that it was Mick’s time to go, so after he left, I spent some time with her. I held her, and she purred. When I put her down, she followed me a few steps and then laid herself down next to my feet. As I squatted to pet her, she reached her paw out to touch my hand, just as she always had. I knew this was goodbye, and although it was emotionally painful, I also thought of all the wonderful memories we had and what a wonderful life she lived.
My mom’s boyfriend let me know that her time had come on Saturday morning. I was saddened, yet relieved that she wouldn’t have to suffer in her old age anymore. I am so grateful that we got to spend such a long time with Mick and that we were able to give her such a good life full of so much love. Not everyone gets to experience the life of an animal that gives so much love out to each being who comes in contact with her, and she will be dearly missed.
Rest in peace, Mick.
Closer July 6, 2011
Why is it that the friends who live closest are always way too busy to spend any time with me, but the friends who live the farthest away are able (and WANT) to communicate on a regular basis?
The friends who live closest to me are always coming up with some excuse not to spend time together, flake at the last minute and say that they’ve all of a sudden become too busy when we do actually have plans, or somehow announce how busy they are and make me feel like I am the absolute last person on earth they would like to hang out with.
On the flip side, the friends who live farthest away are always sending me emails to keep in touch, chatting with me online to see how my day is going, calling me every so often to chat on a Sunday, or sending a letter or card just to say “hi” and let me know they’re thinking of me.
What is the deal with that?
Since when did friendships become a competition of who is the busiest person? Sorry, but I don’t give awards for that competition, and my award is pretty good: MY FRIENDSHIP.
100 Days June 16, 2011
Today marks the 100 day countdown until my wedding, and I am facing a lot of mixed emotions.
My fiancée is an amazing person. He has a wonderful sense of humor (constantly making me laugh), a huge heart, and is one of the most generous people I know. I would do anything for him, and am so honored that he would want to actually spend the rest of his life with me. Planning this wedding has been a roller coaster, though, having a lot of ups and downs. It has also been one of the loneliest times in my life.
When I was younger, I never really pictured myself walking down the aisle. However, when proposed to, I realized it was time to create that vision and start putting the wedding planning in gear. I pictured having a supportive group of girlfriends, people being happy for me, and both families being supportive of the future ceremony. It hasn’t been quite like that, though.
I feel like I haven’t had much support from very many people, and I am always having to hold the hand of a couple of people who are constant emotional wrecks. Yet, no one ever seems to think about asking me how I’m doing. The bride. Yes, I do understand that everyone has their own lives, and that my fiancée and I are the only ones who are the most excited about our wedding day, but I am astonished at how self-centered some people have been in this process. This is just one day out of our lives that it will be about the two of us, yet so far, it has been about everyone else.
I am not quite sure where I am going with this specific blog. It isn’t to vent, or to be a sob fest. I am just very confused, and didn’t realize that by getting married, it would cause such chaos for other people. I also didn’t realize that it would force me, without decision, to re-evaluate several of my friendships. Who would have thought that such a blessed union could create such havoc. Heaven forbid there be a day about someone else besides you.
“Voluntold” May 10, 2011
Someone I know recently mentioned the phrase “voluntold” in one of her sentences, which caused us to laugh at what she was talking about. Although this was a word we had never heard before, it was all too familiar. We were happy to hear that someone had actually made up a word that made total sense to that very action!
It never occurred to me that my mother telling me to help my neighbor take out the trash when I was younger was actually me being “voluntold”. Nor did it occur to me that me being put in charge of a task or committee that no one else was interested in being a part of was actually me being “voluntold”. This has been happening my entire life, and I never realized it until the word was said out loud: “You have been voluntold.”
Volunteering and “voluntold” are two COMPLETELY different words. To volunteer, you have to be willing (and wanting) to help with something, whether it be an activity, helping someone in the kitchen, event coordination, etc. Whatever it may be, it is something that you have volunteered yourself to do out of the kindness of your own heart. “Voluntold”, on the other hand, is when you have been so graciously volunteered by someone else. It doesn’t matter if you were volunteered by someone else behind your back or right in front of your face, but you know when you have been “voluntold”. You get that slight twist in your stomach and a small twitch begins to bother your eyelid. Just as you are about to protest, the other person in the conversation thinks it is a wonderful idea and cannot thank you enough! As you are closing your mouth and slowly lowering the pointer finger you were holding up in the air to dismiss yourself, you come to the realization that yes, you have been “voluntold” to do something that you can not get out of.
So the next time you find yourself doing something with a slight grumble, you may want to ask if you volunteered for it, or if you were “voluntold”. Can’t remember offering those services yourself? Sorry buddy, but you’ve been “voluntold”.
Fly on the Wall May 9, 2011
I feel like a fly on the wall that no one sees. No one realizes that I’m watching their every move, or that I can hear every single thing that they say through these thin walls. They don’t realize that I do see those sideways glances, and that I do hear the constant whispering and gossip that they spread. Although I am invisible to them, I am here, and I really do exist. Unfortunately, like a fly on the wall, my existence is only a little bit more important than a spec of dust…